Emotional Intelligence
"Anyone can be angry-that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not easy." -Aristotle
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to monitor and regulate one's own and others' emotions and to use emotions to facilitate one's thoughts and actions. (Brackett, Rivers, & Salovey, 2011) It is composed of four attributes: 1) self-management, 2) self-awareness, 3) social awareness, and 4) relationship management.
Emotional intelligence has been linked to positive outcomes, including
- Better physical and mental health,
- Better social relationships, and
- Improved academic and workplace success.
Emotion Regulation Skills-Try it Now!
Opposite Action. Doing the behavior opposite to the emotion you are feeling will help to change the emotion. For example, if you are feeling sad, you may want to withdraw from friends. The opposite would be visiting and communicating with friends.
Check the Facts. Strong emotions can lead us to make "mountains out of molehills" with overblown consequences. Ask yourself the following: 1) What triggered my emotion? 2) What interpretations or assumptions am I making about the event? 3) Does my emotion and its intensity match the facts of the situation? Or does it just match my assumptions of the situation?
Practice Regular Self-Care. When we don't get enough sleep, eat poorly, or get no exercise we are more likely to lose control of our emotions and behavior.
Promote the Positive. Practice doing small positive activities every day and make a point of acknowledging the good parts of an experience. Adding positive experiences builds over time and can have a large impact on your life satisfaction.
Emotional Intelligence Toolkit - HelpGuide.org
